Dr Funke Baffour

Ask Dr Funke

Your chance to get advice from leading  Clinical Psychologist and qualified Nutritional Advisor

 

Dear Dr Funke,

I am constantly worried about my life.  I have three young children and my husband is away from home a lot on business.  Each time he goes away I have a deep fear that he is not coming back.  It’s not because I think he will die but I fear that he will meet another women and abandon the children and me.  Although he has not given me any reason to think he would do this I just can’t stop worrying.  I am constantly crying and sometimes I become so low that I take it out on my husband when he comes home.  He has said that I need to stop this as it is causing a strain on our marriage as well as affecting our children.

Anonymous

 

Dr Funke’s reply

When we feel insecure about who we are, we usually project this in many ways.  Although you clearly state that your husband had given you no reason to think he would leave you, however your thought processes have become fixated on this.  This is clearly putting a strain on the relationship with your husband.

What I would suggest is that you begin to embrace your fears for what they are and not what you think they are.  Your worry is based on the anticipation that something is going to happen.  I would also suggest taking time with your husband to discuss your fears.  You may come to realise that such fears are based on some unresolved concerns of abandonment, which are now representing it self in your marriage.

Take time to nurture yourself and the good things that you have achieved, these are things that need to be celebrated.  Being a mother raising three young children can be stressful, so you may want to think about getting some extra support whilst your husband is away.

In addition, if you feel that your low mood does not shift please make an appointment with your GP for further support.

 Yours Dr Funke

 

Dear Dr Funke,

I feel like I have spent the last 20 years trying to lose weight, I have successfully dieted and lost several stone at times but when I am not focused on dieting weight simply creeps back on.  I do not think that I eat too unhealthy but as I am turning into my 40’s I am concerned that losing weight is becoming an even harder struggle.  My motivation comes and goes and sometime I seem to snack a lot more than others, I know I do eat more when I am stressed or bored and eat lots of fruit. What steps can I take to help me maintain my weight loss for good and make sure that I do not overeat?

Anonymous

 

Dr Funke’s reply

Thank you for your letter.  It seems that you had been successful in losing weight in the past.  What motivated you during this time?  Many people have a goal that they want to achieve and this can help them stay motivated on the task of losing weight.  Although this can be helpful, the most important thing for you to consider is why do you want to lose weight? To lose weight should be based on meeting your needs. Losing for other people will set you up to fail.

It is good that you are eating fruit, however too much fruit can add to your difficulty in losing weight, so it’s best to eat fruit in moderation.  Here are some top tips to get you started on your weight loss journey:

1) Identify why you want to lose weight. Eat three meals plus two snacks a day.

2) Eat sufficient fruit and veg.  You could make up juices or smoothies; we will be sharing some of our juicing recipes on our YouTube channel Autumn 2012.

3) Plan your meals ahead-this is crucial for taking control and avoiding moments when you feel hungry and thus eat the wrong food as a result.

4) Write down your emotions and feelings.  Often when we overeat there are usually underlying reason for this . Write some positive affirmations about yourself and carry them around or stick them where you can see them

This is a journey for you to take control of your weight loss, and it can only start with you, so be kind to yourself! If you feel that things are not working out as you would like don’t give up .

Yours Dr Funke

 

 

Dear Dr Funke

I was made redundant nearly a year ago and have not had any luck in getting a new job, despite having a few interviews, I now feel like I have completely lost my confidence and the stress of the situation I am in is making me feel unwell and panicked. I usually and a very positive person and I have tried to keep a positive outlook but this is becoming increasingly difficult and now I am worried that if I have another interview I will completely blow it because of how I feel Is there any advice you can offer?

Anonymous

 

 

Dr Funke’s reply

It seems that you have been  trying to pick yourself from the knock back of being made redundant.  Although you may feel that you have not succeeded, what is positive is that you are getting interviews, even though it may seem like a few.

Getting feedback from interviews is a good tip to see how you can improve your interview techniques.  But first take time to reflect on your plan of action.  Avoid applying for jobs that you have no real desire in doing, as this will come out in the interview no matter how you think you are coming across.  Write up a plan of what you would like to achieve on a week-to-week basis. By doing this you can begin to reward yourself for the all things that you have managed to achieve.

Whilst looking for job hold on to the thought that you are making a difference to your life even if it is taking longer than you had anticipated.

Yours Dr Funke

 

 

Dear Dr Funke,

I have suffered from a lot of bloating and discomfort after eating my main meal at night, this is causing me difficulty sleeping and a lot of wind. It does not seem to matter much what I eat and I try not to eat too much but this is my main meal of the day as at work I am only having sandwiches and I have cereal in the morning.   Do you think I need to have an allergy or intolerance test or is there something I can do to help me reduce the bloating and feel better?

Anonymous

 

 

Dr Funke’s reply

Feeling bloated and discomfort after eating can be linked to a number of digestive problems such as IBS.  Your symptoms could potentially be caused by food sensitivities and stress. Specific foods and drinks, such as fatty foods, coffee and alcohol can be a likely to trigger to your symptoms. I was wondering if you experienced such symptoms during the day when you ate your other meals. Have you considered eating your large meal earlier in the day and have a lighter meal in the evenings.

Stress management is also important to consider too. Stress management options include the following:

1.    Stress reduction training and relaxation therapies such as meditation.

2.    Counselling and support.

3.    Regular exercise such as walking or yoga.

4.    Make changes to the stressful situations in your life.

5.    Get some adequate sleep.

It would be advisable to see your GP to rule out any underlying symptoms.

Yours Dr Funke

 

If anyone else would like me to help address any concerns please email me contact@drfunkeb.co.uk

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